Why “Trust Your Instincts” Isn’t Enough in Parenting Anymore

Have you ever wondered why parenting books, courses, and experts are in such high demand in today’s world when previous generations seemed to raise their kids just fine without them? Why does advice like “Just trust your instincts” or “You’ll know what to do” often leave modern parents feeling more lost than reassured?

Does this mean parents today lack the instincts our ancestors had? That we’re incapable of tapping into our God-given intuition to show up for our kids in the way they need?

Well… yes and no. Let me explain.

Why “Trust Your Instincts” Only Works in the Right Environment

The idea that we should instinctively know how to parent assumes one critical thing: that we’ve had strong, consistent parenting models throughout our lives—both as children and as adults. If you grew up in a community where healthy, responsive parenting was modeled daily, then yes, trusting your instincts makes sense.

And that’s exactly why our ancestors didn’t need parenting books or experts. They weren’t parenting in isolation. They lived in close-knit communities where they watched parents nurture, discipline, and guide their children every day. They had a village to lean on, and they learned how to parent by simply being immersed in it.

Parenting Today: More Isolated Than Ever

Fast forward to today, and the picture looks completely different. We live in an increasingly individualistic society where many parents are raising their children with little to no real-life examples of what healthy parenting looks like. Many of us grew up in homes where emotional needs weren’t fully met, where discipline was either too harsh or too permissive, or where stress and survival mode overshadowed connection.

And even if we did have good parenting modeled in childhood, we’re now raising our kids without the daily support system our ancestors had. Instead of learning by observing and leaning on a village, many parents are left to figure it all out on their own.

What Makes It So Harmful

The truth is, parents were never meant to do this alone. We were designed to learn from others, to have a community of support, and to have access to real-life examples of what good parenting looks like.

The reason the message of you should just know is harmful is because it keeps parents from seeking out help. It puts parents in a position to feel like they are less than or failing in some way if they don’t have the answers.

So if you’ve ever felt like you should just know what to do but instead feel uncertain, overwhelmed, or second-guess yourself—you’re not failing. You’re simply missing what previous generations had: consistent guidance, modeling, and support.

That’s exactly why parenting resources, expert advice, and coaching exist—not because parents today are less capable, but because we’re trying to parent in a world that isn’t designed to support us the way it once did.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’re craving guidance, support, and real-life parenting tools that actually work, I’d love to help. My parent coaching program is designed to give you the confidence, skills, and support you need to show up for your kids in the way they need—without the guesswork, guilt, or overwhelm.

Because parenting isn’t meant to be a solo journey. Let’s build your village, together.

Watch this free training and I will teach you the 3 steps to move your child from struggling to thriving.