New Year’s Parenting Goals

The other day, I was sitting on my bed, working away on my laptop. My six-year-old daughter was trying to get my attention, and I was doing an excellent job of ignoring her. After a few minutes of this, she said, “Mom, do you know what I’m jealous about with Kimberly?” (her little friend). Her words stopped me in my tracks. I’d never heard her talk about jealousy or even use the word before. She had my attention.

I looked up from my laptop and said, “What?” She said, “I’m jealous that Kimberly gets to spend every day with her mom.”

Oof. Punch to the gut.

I work full-time, and Kimberly’s mom is a stay-at-home mom—and also happens to be her babysitter. In that moment, you might expect I’d be overcome with mom guilt for being a working mom. But I wasn’t.

Here’s why: I was a stay-at-home mom for 10 years before deciding to go back to work when my youngest was three years old. I’ve always felt good about that decision. She’s gotten a different version of me as a working mom than her older siblings did, but I’ve never regretted the choice. I knew it was the right move for me and for our family.

So, no, her words didn’t fill me with guilt. Instead, I understood what she really meant. She wasn’t saying she wished I would quit my job so I could stay home and play Barbies with her all day. In her six-year-old way, she was simply saying that the time we did have together wasn’t meeting her needs.

I closed my laptop, looked her in the eye, and asked, “What should we do together today?”

I fully expected an elaborate request that would cost a small fortune. But her eyes lit up, and she said, “Will you help me pack for our trip to Grandma’s house tomorrow?” It was Christmas break, and we were headed out of town for the holiday. 

“Sure,” I said.

She smiled and added, “It’s okay, Mom. We still have four more days together.”

Melt my heart.

As I’ve reflected on that moment, I’ve realized a few things.

First, all our kids really want is us. They don’t need elaborate activities or grand gestures. They need to feel seen, heard, and valued.

And second, our kids notice when we’re not fully present.

They feel it when we’re distracted, when we don’t look up from our phones, or when the screens in front of us seem more important than they are.

As I approach 2025, I’m reflecting on the type of parent I want to be. What’s holding me back from showing up as the mom my kids need? What changes can I make to create more meaningful moments of connection?

And now I’ll ask you the same question: What’s holding you back from being the parent you want to be?

If you’re the parent of a child with ADHD, I’ll tell you this: It’s not your child’s ADHD. Yes, ADHD makes parenting harder—sometimes a lot harder. But that’s not what’s holding you back. Becoming the parent you truly want to be starts with doing your own inner work. When it comes to creating calm and connected homes, the change starts with us. 

Are you ready to take that step in 2025? Let’s work together to help you become the parent your child needs.

Book a free consultation call with me, and let’s talk about your parenting goals and the steps to achieve them.

Here's to a happy and connected family life in the new year.